Spending time with family can either make you really happy, or hate the world. Currently, I'm not happy...

I ran out of smokes on sunday night, and so decided I would attempt to quit once again, cold turkey.

This is the WORST attempt to quit EVER!

I am in physical, and emotional PAIN here.

I have been having panic attacks ALL day and burst into tears about 4 times.

This is HORRIBLE. Just HORRIBLE.

I am going to lock myself in my room until all these feeling go away, hopefully a couple days and i'll be fine. But OMG why is it SO HARD this time?! I feel like I just broke up with someone or something!

Random advice:

Its really hard to enjoy a smoke, when you really have to pee. Always pee before you smoke, so you can relax and enjoy!

Daily things that make me happy:

Talking with Paris
Precious kitty seeking my love and attention
Smoke breaks on the back porch
Pulp-free orange juice
Internet
Socks on my cold feet
A hot shower
Power toothbrush
Quiet
The view outside the windows

Daily things that make me unhappy:

Noise from renovations
Battling my mom for control of the thermostat
Having a bunch of things said to me while i'm half asleep still and being expected to remember said things
Trying to organize my small bedroom filled with my old apartment

I learned a few things this weekend, and a great weekend it was!

I learned that sometimes friendly competition can backfire for both participants.
I also learned that when it comes to men, I don't like being in control, but when it comes to women, I do.

I had a lot of fun seeing everyone this weekend. I had a few moment where I felt over crowded and needed my space, but other than that it was good.

This weekend was also Paris and mine's 6 month celebration. I met his parents and one of his brothers. Nice people :)
We went out to dinner and had a good time, didn't have time to see a movie since we had to make our way to weasel's b-day thing, but there wasn't really anything playing we both wanted to see anyway.

I enjoy going out for breakfast with friends after a night of partying. Went to Mars to eat like zombies.

While searching for my parent's future dog, i got a little distracted and started looking for my future dog. I like Irish Wolfhounds, so while looking at videos of them, I came across this Japanese show. For some reason it amused me hehe.

video taken from police car dash cam.

Wow! o.o! Aliens! Superbeings! ...rocks and ice!

Ranting attempts turn to deletion.
Cybernetic brain. Can I have?
Money tree. Why won't you grow?
Healthy now, please!
Stress/hate/absence up, skitishness down. Relation?
Existance, Destruction, Nothing? Choose, wait.
Surrounding area as a reflection.
Why.

I'm in toronto for a few days, spending some time with Paris. Yay!

Urg.

My quote of the month seems to be "I didn't sign up for this"

My parents bought a house in milton, which they gutted and redid/are redoing. Everyday there is something that needs to be done here. Its driving me insane. I moved home because I needed to be somewhere I could relax and be calm, and think. But instead its constant digging, or painting, or installing, or something!

I've been escaping the crazy at least every weekend to see my love, Paris. Only everytime I see him we have somewhere to be or people to entertain, or something. It seems like we havn't had any one-on-one time for more than an hour or two in over a month.

So, at home its constant noise and people, in toronto its constant noise and people. All I want it some peace and quiet and some time with Paris. Is that so much to ask? Hmm? *looks up* hmm?

I r happy! Oh so happy!

I been so happy I forgot lj existed.
I so happy I don't care that I'm sitting at work wrapped in an electric blanket cause i'm always freaking cold cause of stupid anemia.
I'm seeing a boy, I think you all know him, his name is Paris, and I really like him :3 Our "official" one monthiversary is next weekend, even though we've been seeing eachother longer than that hehe. *glee!*